Should I give up on my goal?

By No Rush · Updated November 7, 2026

The short answer

Letting go of a goal can be the better choice, as long as something new takes its place. An overview of 31 groups of people by Barlow, Wrosch and McGrath found that taking up a new goal went with a better quality of life. Letting go on its own helped much less. Before you stop, decide what you'll put your time into instead.

At what point is it okay to give up?

It's okay once the goal no longer makes sense for the life you have now. Maybe the course you wanted closed, or the job market moved. Or the goal has eaten your evenings for years and given back little. A useful test: if someone offered you this goal fresh today, would you take it? A no is a fair reason to stop.

Why is it so hard to quit something I've put a lot into?

Because what you already gave keeps pulling at you. Hal Arkes and Catherine Blumer sold season tickets for a university theatre at full price or with a discount, assigned at random. In the first half of the season, people who had paid full price went to more plays. The money was spent either way. The same happens with years of study or training. What you already put in is gone whether you stay or stop, so it can't tell you what to do next.

What helps after letting go of a goal?

Something new to put your effort into. Carsten Wrosch and colleagues ran three studies, and people who could drop goals they couldn't reach and move on to new ones were more satisfied with their lives. A later overview of 31 groups found that starting a new goal counted for more than dropping the old one. So stopping is only half of it. Choose what comes next, even a small thing.

How do I know if I should keep going instead?

If you'd still pick the goal today, look at the plan before you drop the goal. Maybe the step is too big for a week with late shifts, or it sits at a time when you never have energy left. Shrink the next step, give it two weeks, and then decide again. That way the choice rests on what happened, and one bad week doesn't make it for you.

In the No Rush app

In the Steps tab, one part helps you explore other directions, and another helps you test one in real life, in a small way. On Home, the app sometimes suggests a small step you can still undo, or a talk with someone who does the work you're curious about.

No Rush app

An iPhone app for people who feel stuck. It sets out one small next step at a time and tells you why that one. It is not therapy.

Sign up free Take the test For iPhone. Coming soon to the App Store. The first seven days are free in the app. After that, you choose whether to subscribe. Sign up now and the app stays free for you, for life.

Sources

Barlow, Wrosch & McGrath (2020). Goal adjustment capacities and quality of life: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Personality, 88(2), 307-323. doi.org/10.1111/jopy.12492
Wrosch, Scheier, Miller, Schulz & Carver (2003). Adaptive self-regulation of unattainable goals: Goal disengagement, goal reengagement, and subjective well-being. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 29(12), 1494-1508. doi.org/10.1177/0146167203256921
Arkes & Blumer (1985). The psychology of sunk cost. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 35(1), 124-140. doi.org/10.1016/0749-5978(85)90049-4