Why can't I make decisions?

By No Rush · Updated October 20, 2026

The short answer

Usually because something is in the way. You don't know enough yet, what you want pulls two ways, or you're scared of getting it wrong for good. Searching for the perfect option tends to make that worse. It helps to choose for a month instead of forever, and to keep a second option ready.

Four things that get in the way

Career researchers Itamar Gati, Mina Krausz and Samuel Osipow found three kinds of trouble with choosing. Later, Noa Saka, Itamar Gati and Kevin Kelly added the emotional side, like the fear of choosing wrong. Below are four kinds, each with a first step.

You're not ready to choose yet

Maybe you'd like someone else to decide for you. Or you think the perfect answer is out there and you just haven't found it yet. Write down which choice it is, and by when it really has to be made, for example pick a course by March 1.

You're missing information

You might know too little about yourself or the options, or have no idea how people make a choice like this. Pick the one question you'd most like answered, and put it to someone who does what you're considering. In No Rush, that can be a step outside, a talk of about twenty minutes.

What you know doesn't fit together

Two things you want pull apart, or people close to you want something else for you. Then sort out what has to be in it and what can't be. No Rush has a card game for that, What has to be in it, what can't be? Do it before you think about which job or course.

You're afraid of choosing wrong

You worry about picking wrong and being stuck with it, or about what the choice says about you. That's the emotional side Saka, Gati and Kelly found in a study of 728 people. Try making the choice for one month instead of for good. Then a wrong choice costs you a month.

Why looking for the best makes it harder

A study followed about 500 final-year students who were looking for work. Those who kept searching for the best possible job ended up with higher starting salaries. They were less satisfied with the job they took, and felt worse while they searched.

Thinking longer doesn't always help either. In a study by Timothy Wilson and colleagues, students chose a poster to take home. Those who first wrote down why they liked each one chose differently, and three weeks later they were less satisfied with their poster.

That's why No Rush sometimes asks you to pick one of two things, without explaining why.

Keep a second option

In a study of 356 decisions in organizations, the ones where people looked at only one option went wrong more often than the ones with two or more. Career researchers Gati and Asher advise keeping a second choice, so that if the first doesn't work out, you have a next step ready.

In No Rush, you keep two directions to look at more closely. When you choose what to try first, the app asks And as your second?

Choose for someone else first

People reason more wisely about other people's problems than about their own. Igor Grossmann and Ethan Kross found this in three experiments with 693 people, about relationships. And in experiments by Evan Polman, people choosing for someone else were less bothered by a long list of options.

So picture someone in the same spot as you, and ask yourself what you would tell them. In No Rush, the task What would you recommend? describes a person with the same kind of problem as you, and you tap what you'd advise.

When even small choices are hard

If even small choices, like what to eat, have felt impossible for weeks, and everything feels heavy, talk to your doctor. If it feels too heavy right now, call a helpline. You can find the numbers at the bottom of this page.

In No Rush, if what you write sounds heavy, the app stops asking questions and shows you the helpline for your country.

One thing for today

Take the choice you're stuck on and make it smaller. Ask yourself what you'll try first, for one month. Write down two options, and what you'd do in the first week of each.

Then pick a moment. For example: On Monday morning, I'll email the course and ask if I can sit in on one class.

No Rush app

An iPhone app for people who feel stuck. It sets out one small next step at a time and tells you why that one. It is not therapy.

Sign up free Take the test For iPhone. Coming soon to the App Store. The first seven days are free in the app. After that, you choose whether to subscribe. Sign up now and the app stays free for you, for life.

Sources

Gati, Krausz & Osipow (1996). A taxonomy of difficulties in career decision making. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 43(4), 510-526. doi.org/10.1037/0022-0167.43.4.510
Saka, Gati & Kelly (2008). Emotional and personality-related aspects of career decision-making difficulties. Journal of Career Assessment, 16(4), 403-424. doi.org/10.1177/1069072708318900
Iyengar, Wells & Schwartz (2006). Doing better but feeling worse: looking for the ‘best’ job undermines satisfaction. Psychological Science, 17(2), 143-150. doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.01677.x
Wilson, Lisle, Schooler, Hodges, Klaaren & LaFleur (1993). Introspecting about reasons can reduce post-choice satisfaction. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 19(3), 331-339. doi.org/10.1177/0146167293193010
Nutt (1999). Surprising but true: half the decisions in organizations fail. Academy of Management Executive, 13(4), 75-90. doi.org/10.5465/ame.1999.2570556
Gati & Asher (2001). Prescreening, in-depth exploration, and choice: from decision theory to career counseling practice. The Career Development Quarterly, 50(2), 140-157. doi.org/10.1002/j.2161-0045.2001.tb00979.x
Grossmann & Kross (2014). Exploring Solomon’s paradox: self-distancing eliminates the self-other asymmetry in wise reasoning about close relationships in younger and older adults. Psychological Science, 25(8), 1571-1580. doi.org/10.1177/0956797614535400
Polman (2012). Effects of self-other decision making on regulatory focus and choice overload. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 102(5), 980-993. doi.org/10.1037/a0026966